The World English Dictionary defines “diagnosis” as a “thorough analysis of facts or problems in order to gain understanding and aid future planning.” Without a correct diagnosis, there can be no understanding as to how best to treat a disease. Without an adequate understanding, there can be little or no progress forward.
Recently I have been diagnosed with sarcoidosis and sleep apnea. Now that a diagnosis has been reached through extensive laboratory testing and analysis, I can move forward to a more functional life as proper treatments are administered with God’s blessing.
However, this morning I woke not with a physical diagnosis, but with a crucial diagnosis of my heart. I “have been weighed in the scales and found wanting.” (Daniel 5:27)
So often I start my morning with “God, please help me through this day.” So often I pray that God will satisfy my needs. I focus on my comfort. I want the time to be filled with my agenda. I even want the day to be filled with my praise as I seek for approval or affirmation from others.
No, I don’t have idols of gold and silver clutched in my hands like Belshazzar did in Daniel 5, but I certainly have stinking idols of selfishness in my heart. Like him, I do “not honor the God who holds in His hand my life and all my ways.” (Daniel 5:23) I fear my life is about me, me, me…
As I search my heart further, I can see how it’s my selfishness also that is road-blocking my writing. Often I am afraid to publish what I write. Why? I fear I will say the wrong thing and hurt someone. Now I really do hate to hurt anyone’s feelings and I hate confrontation, but is that really what is deflating my tires, or is it that I’m afraid someone will turn against me if I speak the truth? Me again…
This diagnosis I received this morning is far more difficult to accept than physical diagnoses, but now I ask myself: What will I do with it? I can say I wept before God this morning and again asked His forgiveness, but that sounds like me again. So I will just say God is faithful and forgiving. He stands firm no matter how much we fail. In Jesus and His totally unselfish sacrifice, my selfishness can be washed away again and again. The 100% pure and sure treatment for a correct diagnosis.
In Jesus, I can move forward. Because of JESUS and HIS LOVE, my wake-up prayer can become, “God, please let YOUR NAME be glorified today. Not my will and way, but YOURS. Not my praise, but YOURS forever!”