Panic roared through my veins as the anesthesia was hooked up. Jumbled thoughts clouded my mind as I thought, “They have my life in their hands now. No, no, no! God has my life in His hands always…”
Then lights out until I woke up in recovery. It’s such a weird feeling, isn’t it? How it seems like only seconds went by?
My ENT doctor cut out a hard white spot from my voice box. She said it didn’t look cancerous, but she’s sending it up.
I often lose my voice with this chronic illness, because harsh coughing aggravates and inflames my voice box. But the worse part of all this are the memory triggers of when my abuser took away my voice.
My brother (he and my sister were also abused by a pastor) said he is coming to understand that our abusers didn’t really take our voice away, but they convinced us they did. This has really caused me to reflect. God gave us a voice that no one can ever take away, no matter how much our abusers convinced us of this. They may have silenced it and squashed it down to an inky black darkness. But even though it’s buried deep, God can resurrect it because He is the one who gave it to us.
Sometimes our voice gets caught in a maze of lies. Lies that we have no voice at all. That our voice has been taken away. That God can never restore it.
But God can and will restore our voices with His immovable, faithful voice of Truth. He can bring our voices out into the light again and restore them to even stronger than before because of what we went through.
“But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’
declares the Lord, ‘because you are called an outcast,
Zion for whom no one cares.’” Jeremiah 30:17“You will be rebuilt; I will restore all your ruins!”
Isaiah 44:26c“He will redeem them from oppression and violence,
for their lives are precious to Him.”
Psalm 72:14
Praying God will restore our broken voices
and make them even stronger so we can freely praise Him!
Freed to Fly 
Trudy, no-one will ever really take our voices away. We will speak in other ways. We will find an avenue of expression, and discover healing in the sharing and lancing of the wounds as God brings us to examine them in the light of His Presence. Only He has the final word/say over our lives. And He speaks release to the captives and freedom for the oppressed. You, like me, may be weak in the natural, but God uses our writing voices to speak out strongly against abuse and for the protection of the weak and wounded ones like us. Keep on saying the truth here. It is the way we break free, my friend. Blessings *hugs* and love. Xx
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Thank you for this powerful, encouraging comment, Joy. Praying we may break free more and more! Hugs back to you! ❤️
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I’ve been on both sides of the operating table, as one who must give up control to be healed and as one stands by the side of a patient as they enter that zone of no-time.
Was this a recent surgery? Praying for a good outcome. And knowing that as you continue to find your voice, as God continues to release it, others will be healed.
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Thank you so much for your loving prayers, Sandra. It’s nice to know there are caring people like you at the side of patients. 🙂 I have a caring doctor and the nurses were great, but it’s still always scary. Yes, this was recent, on Monday, so I don’t know the results yet. I’m trying to rest in Jesus and leave it all in His hands. Praying you will find rest in Jesus in this weary world! 💗
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