I am afraid. Especially of writing more to honor myself than to honor God. I’m afraid that my writing is selfish and inadequate. But it recently occurred to me that maybe that’s Satan whispering lies to me, because if I was writing and not caring about God’s glory, why would He even bother with me? If I didn’t desire God’s glory in my writing, Satan would leave me alone and happily let me write. If I didn’t care about God’s glory, I wouldn’t even be afraid or doubtful of writing more to honor myself or to please others.
So I’m pushing ahead… Afraid. Inadequate. Broken.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God,
who gives generously to all without finding fault,
and it will be given to you. But when you ask,
you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts
is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.”
James 1:5-6
These verses have often been on my heart this summer. I have found myself swinging like a pendulum. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.
I am struggling.
On one side, hope surges as I read of God’s promise to give wisdom to all of us who ask it. Not like a Scrooge who hoards his wealth for himself. God desires to give us wisdom with an all-of-His heart willingness and delight. Not skimpily, but generously, in abundance, more than what we could ask for or even think of.
Then I get stumped on the last part of those verses. I must believe and not doubt. If I doubt, I am like a wave of the sea, tossed about. I should then not expect to receive that wisdom.
But wait, I’m forgetting that part – “without finding fault.” God doesn’t find fault in us.
He isn’t going to find fault in my wavering between belief and doubt either. Sometimes when I waver, I hear God’s whispers:
“Oh My child, you feel you doubt too much
And don’t deserve to receive wisdom.
Don’t you remember what I did for you?
I have covered your doubts, too, with My blood.
I am infinitely more compassionate and forgiving
Than you are of yourself.
There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus.
In and of yourself, there is doubt and fear,
But in Me is hope, certainty, and courage.
Believe not only in My power to give you wisdom
but in My power to breathe peace
into those waves of doubt and fear.
And believe, My child,
My willingness to supply you with wisdom
is infinitely greater than your longing for it.”
Are you afraid you are writing more to please yourself or others than to please God? Take heart. God waits for us to ask for the wisdom we need to write to His glory. His compassionate is bottomless. His forgiveness has no boundaries. His willingness to guide us is filled with endless delight.
“Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus.
But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet,
he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, “Master, save me!”
Jesus didn’t hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand.
Then He said, ‘Faint-heart, what got into you?’
The two of them climbed into the boat, and the wind died down.”
Matthew 14:29-32 The Message
“To Be Like You”
by Hillsong
“All I want
All I need
More of You
Less of me
Take this life
Lord it’s Yours
Have my heart
Have it all”
Freed to Fly 
Spoke to my heart this morning. “Without finding fault”. Thanks, Trudy, for continuing to write my heart.
LikeLike
Hi Sita. It’s great to “see” you again. I’m so glad this spoke to your heart. Aren’t those three words so comforting? It’s something how a person can read a verse so many times without noticing such an important part. May God keep leading us deeper into His grace and forgiveness! Hugs!
LikeLike
I am smiling for you Trudy, seeing how God is opening your eyes to see the value of your writings as you go through this journey. I think Satan can trick us into not seeing our ‘why’ anymore-the why of writing or anything else we do that ADDS value to others. I’m on this journey too, and went to quite an empty place, not sure what I was to ‘do’ anymore. But it began to empty me too of what I thought I needed from the world to continue in all that I was doing. It was and is a moment by moment process of letting go. Your journey God’s got you on, you are being called into to be ‘less of (me)’ which is so much freedom! Wonderful to read you again! Love and hugs.
LikeLike
Thank you for smiling for me, Lynn. 🙂 Yes, it truly is a moment by moment process of letting go. May God keep leading us more into less of us and more of Him! Hugs!
LikeLike
Amen Trudy! You re not alone in having those thoughts. I want to honor God in my writing but Satan wants to give us pause. I so love that verse in James I used it in my upcoming book. Having those questions also shows that we are thinking and becoming more like Jesus. Which is pleasing to Him, It is such a pleasure to visit your site today via Lori’s site I was catching up on things yesterday. Love the Hillsong video. Looking forward to their movie coming out this month(16th) Thank you for sharing your honest insights. It was definitely an encouraging read. I hope you have a wonderful week and may God bless you and yours!
LikeLike
I’m so grateful you are encouraged, Horace. You have encouraged me as well – “Having those questions also shows that we are thinking and becoming more like Jesus.” Thank you. I wasn’t aware of the movie coming out. I just looked it up and listened to a video about it. I love what someone said – “It’s not about us. It’s ultimately about God.” Amen. May we keep seeking to honor God in our writing and remember He has the victory over Satan!
LikeLike
Dear Trudy,
It’s so good to have you back “home” writing here again. Please know that your words have brought so much encouragement to me, over these past months that I have gotten to “know” you. And today’s post is once again touching me with this: “Are you afraid you are writing more to please yourself or others than to please God? Take heart. God waits for us to ask for the wisdom we need to write to His glory” I find myself doubting so often that Jesus would be asking me to write–oh, but it is HIS story in us that He wants us to share! Thank you for these words today, encouraging us to “take heart.” –Blessings and Hugs!
LikeLike
It’s people like you who make it “home,” Bettie. 🙂 I’m so grateful your heart was touched. Those doubts can be so troubling, can’t they? Satan works hard to keep us from sharing the story of JESUS and from encouraging each other in Him. Your posts have so often brought me encouragement as well. May we together take heart in Jesus and share His hope and healing to all! Hugs!
LikeLike
Oh Trudy, this post is packed with wisdom. I’m going to need to come back to soak in it some more too. Thank you SO much for writing this. It has encouraged me so very much. What power there is in Scripture, when the Holy Spirit opens up our hearts and minds to see and receive. So blessed by you.
LikeLike
I’m so glad you are encouraged and blessed, Anna. Yes, when the Holy Spirit opens up our hearts and minds, there is such power in God’s Word. Sometimes it amazes me how a person can read a verse over the years and yet God continues to make it new and helps us to hear something we didn’t hear before in it. May He open our hearts more and more to what He has to say to us! Hugs!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad to see you back here writing again, Trudy. I think the fact that you’re even asking the question about whether you’re writing to honor yourself or God shows that you’re doing it for the right reasons. I love the words God whispered to you and the reminder that God is the one we should be seeking for wisdom and that he gives it without finding fault, even when we doubt or waver.
LikeLike
Thank you, Lesley. Isn’t it so amazing that God is such a loving Giver who doesn’t condemn us for wavering? May we surrender all our doubts to Him who so freely and lovingly carries all our burdens! Hugs!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve very often struggled in my writing, asking myself is this about me or about God? When I feel that happening, I go to Him in prayer, asking that He might use my words for His glory, and that they will draw others to Him.
Blessings, Trudy!
LikeLike
Me, too, Martha. But I so easily slip into doubting His power to give me the right words. But He has promised and He is faithful, right? May He give us an ever deeper relationship with Him and may He give us the words for His glory! Hugs!
LikeLike
Dear Trudy, this spoke straight to my heart. God is moving me to do new things and instead of letting him take the lead, I’ve been trying to do too much all at once. Your words remind me that our Father is patient and kind. Waiting for us to give him full control so He can accomplish in us what He wants to do through us.
Please keep writing, you have an amazing gift!
I’ve missed you so much my friend! ❤
LikeLike
Thank you for your encouragement to keep writing, Krista. I’m so glad this spoke to you. Yes, our Father truly is patient and kind. He never gives up on us! I have missed you, too. Did you take down your site? I am looking forward to hearing what God wants to do through you. May He help us to surrender fully to Him and may we allow Him to lead us! Hugs!
LikeLike
Welcome back Trudy! So happy to see your words gracing your little online home again! Your thoughts are beautifully unselfish and thoughtfully contemplated because if you didn’t share them, then you might be holding onto something God wanted to use in the lives of your fellow writers. It’s not so much our words, but he takes the little we offer to him and to others and does amazing things with them to turn our hearts toward him. Isn’t that just beautiful?! And so miraculous. 🙂 Keep writing, friend. We are waiting here for God to speak to us through your words! xo
LikeLike
Thank you, Valerie, for your continued support. I have tears in my eyes as I think of how you encouraged me to return here. God knew I needed the nudge to continue. Yes, it truly is a miracle how God takes the little we offer to Him and others and does amazing things with them. All glory be to Him! May we be filled with His love and may that love ooze out to others! Hugs!
LikeLike
I am praying hard for wisdom these days, too, Trudy. And I agree wholeheartedly with what Valerie wrote … it’s wonderful to see you back, and your words never fail to encourage me. Hugs, my friend!
LikeLike
Thank you, Lois. I’m so glad you are often encouraged here. Your blog posts have encouraged me as well. May God give us His wisdom each and every moment of each day! Hugs!
LikeLike
It’s really good to see you back here again, Trudy. Welcome home! You always find some nuggets of wisdom to share. As an insecure, oh so imperfect woman with a heart to serve and honour God I echo your words: “So I’m pushing ahead… Afraid. Inadequate. Broken.” Pressing on and pressing in to Christ are the hallmarks of our faith. We want our works/writing to help and encourage others to turn to Him, to see and sense God’s presence woven within the words. Our seemingly small offerings can have a far greater impact than we know, so don’t stop, my friend! You’re doing a great job here. Blessings and hugs! xo ❤
LikeLike
Thank you so much for your continued support and encouragement, Joy. I knew you would relate. We both long so much to honor God and to encourage others to turn to Him for hope and healing. May we together press on and press in to Christ! Hugs!
LikeLike
Trudy – so glad we are neighbors today at Holly’s place #CoffeeForYourHeart – I think that we all struggle with doing things for ourselves, or making them more about us than God not just writing, but other aspects of our daily life too. It is a hard fine line sometimes isn’t it? But thank you God that you love us anyway and give us grace and wisdom when we ask. After all, it’s all about Him and not us….thanks so much and welcome back to writing.
LikeLike
Thank you, Debbie. Yes, thanks be to God that He loves us anyway and so generously gives us grace and wisdom when we ask! May our lives daily be about Him and not us! Hugs!
LikeLike
Yay-Hey, you’re back, Trudy … and we’re all welcoming you with open arms!
LikeLike
Thank you for your loving welcome, Linda. 🙂 I always feel such a warm welcome at your site, too. 🙂 May God show us more deeply how much He welcomes us and wants us to pass it on to others! Hugs!
LikeLike
Welcome back to writing Trudy.This is something that I do struggle with often. I am so thankful that God gives wisdom “without finding fault”. Thank you for sharing such an insightful post over at Glimpses this week!
LikeLike
Thank you, Barbie. I’m sorry you struggle with this, too. It’s so easy to doubt and fear, isn’t it? But yes, I am so thankful, too, that God gives wisdom “without finding fault.” He is so gracious and patient with us, infinitely more than we are with ourselves. Thank you for “Glimpses” and I wish you the best with juggling homeschooling and work. May God give us wisdom for every minute! Hugs!
LikeLike
That is definitely Satan talking, Trudy. I’ve never read anything of yours that is selfish or inadequate, my friend. I can completely relate though. I’ve almost given up my blog many, many times. So good to see you back! Thanks for this encouragement :).
LikeLike
Thank you, Candace. I’m glad you were encouraged. Satan sure does torment us, doesn’t he? Especially when he knows we desire to honor God. I’m so glad you have pressed on and kept your blog going! May we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus who has conquered the devil! Hugs!
LikeLike
Dearest Trudy,
Satan is definitely the father of lies. So glad you’re writing again, my friend 🙂 Yes, we can always trust God’s whispers of love and reassurance to write as He leads. You are always pointing back to God. ((hugs))
LikeLike
Thank you, Dolly. I think the more we desire to glorify God, the more Satan will taunt us. But thanks be to God He always has the victory! May we always trust God’s whispers of love and reassurance! Hugs!
LikeLike
I am in my home doing the happy dance right now, Trudy! Yaaaaayyyyy! I’m so happy to see you back here and I am so proud of you for listening to Jesus and continuing to write! And can I be the voice of affirmation saying you are not doing this more for yourself than for Jesus? You have blessed me immensely with your words and I know you have blessed many many more, too. Don’t stop, K?
Much love,
Lori
LikeLike
Thank you for your voice of affirmation and encouragement, Lori. And the happy dance. 🙂 I’m so grateful you have been blessed here. May we together write for Jesus and the hope there is in Him! Hugs!
LikeLike
Welcome back friend! Satan has a sneaky way of looking like the truth when in reality it is anything but the truth. You have a calling from God to write for His glory and you do a beautiful job. Thank you for this reminder today. Love you!
LikeLike
Thank you, Mary. Yes, Satan can be awfully sneaky. I’m so grateful our Savior has won the victory over him and continues to protect us. May we keep our hearts fixed on Jesus! I love you, too! Hugs!
LikeLike