I wrote a blog post for this week, but I deleted it all.
The second time I wrote, I still deleted most of it to start once again.
God wants me to write authentically, but He also wants me to filter what I publish through His sieve of love. Love towards Him and love toward others. That’s why I like to write days ahead of time and keep praying for direction. When writing vulnerably, I have to be careful. Sometimes it turns out that my writing is more meant to help me process raw emotions, not something He wants me to publish for all to see.
“But speaking the truth in love
[in all things—both our speech
and our lives expressing His truth],
let us grow up in all things into Him
[following His example]
who is the Head—Christ.”
Too many times in my life I speak or write words that should have remained between myself and God. And sometimes a trusted counselor or friend. So as I write here, I am learning to ask myself – Does this glorify God? Does it radiate with His love or with my bitterness? Does it point to hope, healing, and freedom in Jesus?
Having asked myself these questions, my post is considerably shorter…
I read a blog post that triggered a time when my heart, too, was being judged. When it felt like a giant foot stomped on the deepest feelings of my heart and ground them into oblivion.
In times like this, I teeter on the edge of the Rock that is Christ Jesus, ready to slip and tumble back into a trap of the past where my voice was silenced. Insecurity, fear, and shame battle with Truth. I desperately stretch my hand back to Jesus, begging Him – “Help, Lord! Please take my hand and hang on to me! Keep me on Your sure Foundation of Truth!”
“I cried out, ‘I am slipping!’
but Your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me.
When doubts filled my mind,
Your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.”
Psalm 94:18-19 NLT
Memory triggers of past pain can suck us down like quicksand, but Jesus’ love can plant us back on solid ground. He can give us the strength to believe that in Him we are strong and He can keep us from being swayed into a pool of uncertainty again where our voices don’t count. When we remember again that our identity is in Him, not in the painful past, our hearts calm and rest in His love and assurance.
If memory triggers drop the bottom out from beneath us, Jesus’ hand is stretched toward us, waiting for us to grab hold. He longs to help us. He is available 24/7 to hear the pains of our hearts. May we ask Him to ground us again in His Word and our identity in Him. He loves us deeply, and no one can ever take that away.
“I give them eternal life, and they will never perish.
No one can snatch them away from Me,
for My Father has given them to Me,
and He is more powerful than anyone else.
No one can snatch them from the Father’s hand.
The Father and I are one.”
“Love Take Me Over”
by Steven Curtis Chapman
“Love, take these words that I’m speaking
Love, take these thoughts that I’m thinking
Love, take me over
Love, fill up all of my space and
Love, stand right here in my place
Love, hear this prayer that I’m praying
Love, take everything that I’m doing
Love, like a river, flow through me
Love, take me over”