“You see, we have a bucket inside of us,” She spread her little fingers across her heart. “When someone is mean to us, it empties our bucket. But if they say they are sorry or if they say something nice, it puts something back into our buckets.”
“Oh, I see… So if I say ‘Kamryn, I love you. You are so special,’ will that overflow your bucket?” Her face beamed as if to say, “Yes! You got it, Grandma!”
This story my grand-daughter heard nearly four years ago in Pre-Kindergarten concerning bullying really touched my heart. So simple, yet so profound. Scoop by scoop, condemning remarks can empty us of our security in who we really are. We can start basing our value on what others say instead of who God says we are.
We can become our own bully when we believe the lies cast on us by others or by Satan: What is wrong with me? I’m so ugly. I’m so dumb. I’m not good enough. I don’t deserve to be happy. I’m not worth it. I’m unlovable. I’m not strong enough. I can never do it as well as he/she can, so why even try? And on and on… Shovelfuls of the “me God created us to be” go flying out of our buckets until there is nothing left to give.
Do you beat yourself up a lot? I’ll admit I do. I have a hard time liking myself. I wonder if it’s prideful or selfish to be kind to myself. But I am learning inch by inch that it’s not only ok to love ourselves, but it’s what God wants. This is not about self-adoration or narcissism. It’s about appreciating the unique person God created us to be.
“When you wound yourself with your words,
it’s the same to God as if you were doing it to someone else in your life.
Jesus said to love our neighbors as ourselves.
That means all of the ‘one another’ statements in Scripture
(i.e. be kind to one another, encourage one another)
apply in our relationship with ourselves too.”
Holley Gerth
So how can we be kind to ourselves? By filling our emptied buckets with God’s Truth. A solid, secure Truth that no one can steal from us. A Truth that will more than fill up what self-criticism or others’ bullying comments have robbed from us.
“Every word of God proves true.
He is a shield to all who come to Him for protection.”
Proverbs 30:5
God’s Truth for our emptied, wounded hearts:
💞 I am wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)
💞 I am His masterpiece, created anew in Christ Jesus. (Ephesians 2:10)
💞 I am redeemed with the blood of Jesus. (Isaiah 43:1)
💞 There is no condemnation for me when I belong to Jesus. (Romans 8:1)
💞 I am precious and honored. (Isaiah 43:4)
💞 I am His royalty, a crown of splendor in His hand. (Isaiah 62:3)
💞 I am His own special treasure. (Malachi 3:17)
💞 Nothing will ever be able to separate me from the love of God. (Romans 8:37-39)
💞 Because of His faithful love and mercy, I will never perish. (Lamentations 3:22)
💞 He will restore my ruins. He will rebuild what is broken. (Isaiah 44:26)
💞 He fills my emptiness with good things. (Psalm 107:9)
💞 I can do all things through Jesus who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13)
We can’t always control the inward and outward bullies in our lives, but we can learn to be better equipped to handle them, both past and present. We can allow Jesus to fill our emptiness with His Truth, His healing, and His love. Then we will be able to base our identity, not in those negative voices, but in Jesus, who emptied Himself so our emptiness can be filled with Him. In Him, we are redeemed. In Him, we are secure. In Him, we are free.
“Beautiful”
by MercyMe
Freed to Fly 
Trudy, I loved the image of the bucket in our hearts. So simple, yet truer than true. We can allow the criticisms and cruelty of others fill it up, or we can allow Jesus to empty it of negativity and fill it up with His loving kindness. I will choose the latter every time!
Blessings to you!
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I choose the latter along with you, Martha! It can still be hard though sometimes. I’m learning to replace lies with Truth, but sometimes I slip back into believing the criticisms. God is infinitely patient with me. 🙂 May His love and grace fill our hearts every moment!
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Thank you for always pointing to truth, Trudy! Words can make such a difference and coming here always encourages me and fills my bucket. I love the Holley Gerth quote too- I think a lot of us say things to ourselves that we would never think of saying to someone else. It’s so important to remember how God sees us. Love and hugs to you!
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I’m so grateful coming here encourages you and fills your bucket, Lesley. It’s hard to not let the lies define us, isn’t it? We need God’s Truth to fill our hearts every moment. I love Holley’s quote, too. When I first read it, it struck me, as you write here, how I would never even think of saying some things to others as I do to myself. Love and hugs to you, too! May we daily see ourselves as God sees us!
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Dear Trudy,
This is so true and precious today! I am going to pass this along to a friend who is struggling and trying so hard to see her identity through Christ’s eyes. I love this so much: “Then we will be able to base our identity, not in those negative voices, but in Jesus, who emptied Himself so our emptiness can be filled with Him.” Oh, how much we need HIS filling of our buckets!! Thank you for always speaking such encouraging words, my friend! Love and Hugs!
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Thank you, Bettie. We are so empty without Jesus, aren’t we? I’m so glad you are encouraged and can hopefully encourage a friend who is struggling. It’s still a struggle for me, too, sometimes. That enemy forces his way in, and I slip into believing the lies. I have to constantly remind myself of who we are in Jesus’ eyes. I pray God will rescue your friend and help her to see Him through His eyes! May we daily find our identity in Christ Jesus alone! Love and hugs back to you!
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This is beautiful, Trudy. If we don’t receive and wrap our arms around all who God says we are, it’s going to be hard to extend that to others in ways that are authentic and powerful.
Thanks for sharing this wisdom today, friend. Grace, grace.
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Thank you, Linda. I love that you share that if we don’t wrap our arms around all God says we are, it’s hard to extend it to others in authentic and powerful ways. So true! Yes, grace! May our buckets fill up with God’s Truth and flow over to those around us!
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Trudy,
I loved reading this little snippet of your family life, through your granddaughter (with such a beautiful name of Kamryn!) and she speaks such truth! I can relate with your thoughts about it being difficult sometimes to love or like or even accept ourselves but in God we are beautiful and lovely and I like how you included all the wonderful thoughts to fill our minds with to confirm to ourselves who we are in him! xoxo
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I’m so happy you enjoyed it, Valerie. I’m so sorry you do relate to finding it difficult sometimes to love or accept yourself. It’s an up and down process, right? Yes, in God we are beautiful and lovely! May we daily embrace God’s Truth of who we are in Him! xoxo back to you!
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Another thank you Trudy for your excellent written words of the truth of where our value comes from. You’re beautiful!
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Hi Lynn! Thank you for your kind words. You’re beautiful, too, inside and out. 🙂 Yes, our value only comes from God! I’m missing your posts, but I also knows that sometimes a person needs a break and time of refreshing. I pray your life coaching is going well. I’m sure it’s hard to get something started. May God help us to live loved and valued by Him!
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Wonderful truth, my friend. I love the bucket analogy … great word picture that is easily understood by preschoolers and grown women alike! Hugs, Trudy!
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Thank you, Lois. Yes, it is a wonderful truth. I agree it’s for grown women, too! 🙂 Hugs back to you! May our buckets be filled with Jesus so we can fill others’ buckets with kindness!
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Hi Trudy! I just gave a talk on grandparenting, and I mentioned that our grandchildren have so much to teach us. And here you go, proving it! What a beautiful description of what happens in a heart when we are supported, and then when we are allowed to fall. I hope I always remember this post my friend, it’s a powerful one. And the supporting Scripture is wonderful!
Blessings,
Ceil
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Thank you, Ceil. That’s cool that you just gave a talk on what grandchildren can teach us. So do you give a lot of talks? It’s a powerful lesson for sure, especially since Scripture confirms it. 🙂 Blessings to you, too! May God fill our hearts with His Truth so that we can fill others’ buckets with love and kindness!
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Trudy, what a powerful post! Words have power, don’t they?
I so appreciated what you said here: “This is not about self-adoration or narcissism. It’s about appreciating the unique person God created us to be.”
Yes. God doesn’t want us diss’ing His creation—us. We are fearfully and wonderfully made by Him. Even when we doesn’t feel like this is true, we need to chose to believe it. Thanks for your words of life here!
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Thank you, Jeanne. Sometimes there are so many lies brutally tugging on us not to believe we are God’s unique creation. But as you say, even when we don’t feel like it’s true, we need to choose to believe we’re fearfully and wonderfully made! May we daily cling to that Truth!
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What a beautiful post! I stumbled across your blog tonight when I couldn’t sleep. Looking forward to reading more!
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Thank you, Lynn. I’m so sorry you couldn’t sleep, but I’m glad you stumbled across something that spoke to you. 🙂 I just went to your site, and your paintings are so beautiful. I hope to check it out more. I did subscribe. 🙂 May we always remember that in God’s eyes, we are His precious masterpieces and He loves us so much!
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