Last month an online friend, Lois, traveled through our city, and I had the privilege and pleasure of meeting her in person. When she gifted me with her book, Infertility: Finding God’s Peace in the Journey, I had no idea how much it would impact me.
It was truly a God-nudge that prompted her to give it to me as she didn’t know that God planted my children in my heart, not in my belly.
Lois wrote of her painful journey through infertility and the Biblical truths that helped her to find God’s peace in the midst of it. I would recommend this book to anyone going through infertility. But not only to those, but to all who are struggling with losses, whatever they may be. The Biblical truths God binds upon her heart are relevant to any trials and struggles we have in life.
I was captivated already from the beginning when I identified with what God spoke to her heart:
“Do you trust Me to know what
I’m doing with your life?
When you want to do it your own way,
when you start doubting My faithfulness,
when you start comparing yourself to others…
do you trust Me?” (p 11)
I’m sharing just a few of the Biblically-based truths and advice I gleaned that are invaluable to remember in every struggle or loss we may have:
♥ God cares about our feelings. He wants us to face them. He can handle any emotion we have. Even the writers of Scripture freely shared their feelings.
♥ A solid starting point in our journey is to see God as He is. He is in control of everything and His plan for our lives is good because He is good. When something bad happens in our lives, it doesn’t mean He is punishing us or doesn’t love us anymore.
♥ Praying Christ’s prayer “opens the door for the peace of God” and lays the groundwork that will enable us to make the right choices.
“Father, if You are willing,
take this cup from Me;
yet not My will,
but Yours be done.”
Luke 22:42
♥ Look for God-sightings, “those often-overlooked little events and moments that gently remind us that our heavenly Father still loves us and is still working.”
♥ Remember God has a different story for each of us. He knows what growth plan is best for us. (The comparison trap is easy to fall into.)
“And my primary job, as the main character in my story,
is to focus on Jesus, not on anyone else.”
~ Lois Flowers ~
♥ Express your anger to God above all and to someone you trust, so you don’t internalize it. Many people mean well by giving advice, opinions, or bits of spiritual wisdom, but others are simply insensitive and non-empathetic.
“But you can either turn yourself into a victim
who takes offense at every wrong word,
or you can allow your circumstances to
make you more assertive, more gracious,
or more patient with others.”
~ Lois Flowers ~
♥ Obsession with a dream or desire can lead to idolatry, placing our relationship with Christ on the back burner.
♥ Do what’s best for you and your emotional intelligence. It’s okay to stay away from places that trigger pain.
♥ It’s not all about us. Beware of self-absorption.
♥ God never turns His back on us.
“He didn’t turn His back on me when I was hurting,
but He didn’t let my tears change His mind
about what He had in store for me, either.
And somehow – only by His infinite
mercy and grace, I’m sure –
I was okay with that.”
~ Lois Flowers ~
♥ Letting go of a dream and grieving what we miss does not mean we have a lack of faith or are weak.
♥ Jesus always understands. He asked God three times for another way, but the answer was NO.
“We despised Him and rejected Him
—a man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief…
Yet it was our grief He bore,
our sorrows that weighed Him down.”
Isaiah 53: 3-4
Your Ways Are Higher Than Mine
by the Collingsworth Family
“It’s not what I prayed for
It’s not what I wanted
It’s not something I understand
My circumstances seem so confusing
I’m placing it all in Your hands
Your ways are higher than mine
I want mountains to move
You want me to climb
So I’m gonna trust Your work, Your will, and Your time
Your ways are higher than mine…”
Freed to Fly 
Trudy, I can’t begin to tell you how much my heart needed these words of solace and comfort today. Thank you, and Lois, for pointing my heart back to the heart of Jesus.
Blessings!
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I’m awed by God’s timing, Martha. I’m so glad you were comforted today. Blessings to you, too! May God give you strength through whatever you are going through right now. May we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus whose ways are higher than ours!
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How exciting to have met Lois, Trudy! And thank you so much for all these truths you have taken the time to share. I didn’t know you have dealt with infertility. I’ll read that post next. He has made you kind and compassionate, and you are a blessing! The reminder that we can go to God with all our feelings resonated with me deeply. I can be a stuffer of feelings including before God. But He can handle them, wants us to go to Him, and will never turn away! hugs to you!
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Yes, Lynn, it was exciting and such a blessing to meet Lois in person. I met her beautiful family, too. 🙂 Thank you for such kind words of encouragement. I’m so glad it resonated with you about going to God with all our feelings. It was a great reminder for me as well. May we together remember to go to Him with ALL of our feelings, no matter what they may be, and trust He will never turn us away!
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Trudy, this post and the one you linked back to are just beautiful. I didn’t know that part of your story, and I am so thankful you re-shared it. God has blessed you with such compassion and grace through all that you have gone through. I cried through the song you shared also, as those words, “Your ways are higher than mine” are from my life chapter, Isaiah 55. I needed so much to be reminded of this for myself, and for loved ones in my life that I am praying for also. Thank you for opening your heart to share, and for sharing the beautiful book from Lois.
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Love and hugs and prayers of blessing for you today, my dear friend. xoxo
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Love and hugs and prayers of blessing to you as well, Bettie!
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Thank you, Bettie, for you kind encouragement. I felt that song would bless you as I know you’re going through so much and knew you had an appointment with your rheumatologist. I didn’t know Isaiah 55 was your life chapter though. I read your post this morning to find out how you turned out, and I’m going to return soon to comment. May we, like Lois, rest in the assurance that God knows what He’s doing even when it doesn’t make sense to us!
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i absolutely love that two of my favorite blogging companions got to share that precious time together. so fabulous, so rare …
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Me, too, Linda. 🙂 Yes, it is rare and fabulous. I never imagined I would get to meet one of you blogging friends in person. I wish I could see her more. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all sit together and spend precious time together? May we cling to our Father whose ways are higher than ours, even when our hearts feel sad and don’t understand!
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What a joy for you to have met up with Lois and her family! A double blessing to be sure. Her book appears to have lots of gems of wisdom that are applicable for all kinds of loss. Each loss we experience will require a degree of mourning and grieving before we can move on. The vital thing is to not get stuck in the grief cycle or victim mentality, hard as that might be. Yet as you and Lois point out, if we trust God with the healing process, He brings good fruit out of it that blesses others. Thank you, Trudy, for sharing these valuable insights and linking back to your story as well. Its clear that out of your own challenges God has given you a large, loving, empathetic and compassionate heart which delights to reach out and support others. Love and hugs! xo 💜
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It was a joy, yes. 🙂 And it would be a joy if we could meet in person, too, Joy. But I guess I will just have to be content with connecting with you online from afar. We can still imagine it though, right? I loved what Lois shared about allowing our circumstances to “become more assertive, more gracious, or more patient with others” rather than turning into a victim mentality. Thank you for your kind and loving encouragement. Even though we may never meet in person here on earth, I have often felt your loving and compassionate support and empathy these years. We both deal with chronic illness and have histories of past sexual abuse, and I know you understand me in a deep way. Love and hugs to you, too! Through all our struggles in life, may we grow to be more like Jesus!
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I love that you and Lois got to meet. I’m sure that was a blessing for both of you! And thanks for sharing about her book. It sounds wonderful. I loved reading the story of how God led you to your husband and children too – it’s so encouraging to see how he works in unexpected ways. Love and blessings to you!
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Yes, it was a blessing, Lesley. As was the book. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to sit down together with a cup of coffee? We’ll just have to imagine it, right? But I love that God brought us together. You understand me in a deep way, and I marvel at the courage God is giving you to share your story more and start a ministry in your church to be a support to other victims of abuse. I’m hoping to answer your email soon, but know that you are in my heart and prayers. It has been good for me to revisit that unexpected blessing God gave me so many years ago. And it reminds me, too, to remember to tell of His wondrous deeds even in the midst of our struggles. Love and blessings to you, too! May God give us the courage to take step by step into the unknown, wherever He may lead us!
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Aw, Trudy … what a blessing to read the bits and pieces of the book that spoke to your heart, and also to be able to listen in while you interact with all these blogging friends in the comments section! I’m so glad we were able to meet and connect on a level of experience that I didn’t even know we shared before! Love and hugs to you, my friend!
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Lois, you have helped me to process more than you know. I concentrated here on truths I gleaned from your book that are so essential to all kinds of struggle, but because of your book, I am learning to give myself permission to grieve for what I missed without being ungrateful for the priceless blessings God has given me. So thank you so much for following God’s nudge to give me your book. 🙂 May God help us to grieve the loss of any dreams and release them into His hands!
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Awww, Trudy! I am so glad you got to meet Lois! I got to meet her a few years ago, and it was wonderful. I love what you shared about her book, too. That Lois . . . such a wise woman!
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Me, too, Jeanne. I’m glad you got to meet her, too. It would be wonderful to meet you in person, too. 🙂 God taught her a lot through her painful journey, and it’s amazing how relevant those lessons are to anyone with struggles. God has taught you a lot through your struggles, too, and I’m grateful you share what you have learned in your posts. May we cling to our Father whose ways are infinitely higher than ours, even when we don’t understand!
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How fun that you and Lois got to meet in person! And that she gave you a book that was just right for you. I have a friend who has been trying to get pregnant off and on for about a year, not that long compared to many, but I know it is difficult still every single month. Thank you for share this advice here. You’re a real treasure, Trudy!
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Thank you, Lisa. You’re a real treasure, too! I’d love to meet you in person, too, but I’m grateful to have you as an online friend. I’m sorry about your friend. Lois’ book would be great for her. May we be given grace to rest in the truth that God loves us, no matter what happens in our lives!
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What a blessing to meet Lois! There is nothing like the meeting of two online friends in real life. What a God moment that Lois brought along her book and then gifted it to you. Lois is a wise and tender woman. Thank you for sharing passages and quotes that spoke to you in Lois’ book. You both are my favorites!!
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Thank you for your kind words, Mary. Yes, it was a blessing to meet Lois. And it would be a blessing to meet you in person, too! I have gleaned wisdom from your book and your posts, too. 🙂 May God give us the grace to open our hearts to His peace through our journeys!
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Such grace in this friendship sent by Him for you Trudy! His love never ceases to amaze me!
Bless you,
Jennifer
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I’m so sorry, Jennifer. I just found this in my spam folder. I’m so glad God prompted me to check my own spam when my comment landed in someone else’s spam folder. His love never ceases to amaze me either! Bless you, too! May we more and more cling to our ever-understanding Jesus who loves us so unconditionally!
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Amen! 😀
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