God Cares About our Hard Questions

I grew up living in fear of God. No, not the fear that means revering Him, but the quaking fear of being pursued by an unapproachable, vindictive God who sought to harm me. I pictured Him as standing above me with a sword ready to strike me down and cast me into hellfire if I stepped even one toenail out of the way of what the church dictated.

I learned not to question God and not to question the ministers who were set in authority over us, because they were God’s messengers speaking for God. Spiritual, mental, emotional, and sexual abuse from a minister locked me in a prison with no way out.

BUT GOD…

Thanks be to God who broke the chains and did provide a way out. It’s an ongoing healing journey, but God has graciously led me to a way of love through Jesus, a love we didn’t hear much of. God is love. He delights to save us, not to harm us. He doesn’t want anyone to perish, and He doesn’t condemn us.

God doesn’t stop loving us when questions plague our hearts. It doesn’t mean we have a lack of faith or are being irreverent if we approach Him with them. He invites us to pour out all our confusion to Him, even though He already knows what is bothering us. He may not always give us answers here in this broken world, but He cares about our questions and uses them to help us in mourning our losses.

We can’t always trace God’s hand in events in this world and in our lives, but we can trust His heart. His arms are always open for us to run into and to be embraced to His heart of everlasting, unfailing love. He won’t always answer our questions, but it is His pleasure to give us grace to hold His hand and trust His heart and His infinitely higher thoughts and plan. He won’t always stop the pain, but He will bring beauty out of it in His way and timing. He won’t always fix what’s broken while we’re on this earth, but He gives us the courage to let go of our plans as we surrender to His control and remember His love never fails, no matter what.

We are not alone when we ask God “Why?”

  • When the Israelites wailed and complained and blamed Moses about their plight, Moses was frustrated and asked God, Why have You been so hard on Your servant?” (Numbers 11:11) It’s like he asked, “Here I am serving You, God, so why is all this happening? Why are You laying such a heavy burden on me?” God answered by qualifying others to help Moses carry the burden. The people were still discontent, but God strengthened him to carry on.

  • David asked, “Oh Lord, why do You stand far off? Why do You hide Yourself in times of trouble?” (Psalm 10:1) He was in deep lament over all the sin and injustice against the innocent, the poor, and the helpless. It seemed God was unconcerned and hiding Himself. Though God didn’t directly mete out the justice right then, He did help David to focus on God’s faithful character as the Helper of the helpless. Someday there will be an end to all the oppression.

  • The prophet Habbakuk’s name means “he who embraces.” It was through grappling with tough questions that he came to a firm faith. In the first chapter, he asked God, “Why do You make me look at injustice? Why do You tolerate wrongdoing?” (Habbakuk 1:3) His heart was pained that God wasn’t immediately exacting justice against wrongdoings. He learned that things don’t happen according to our schedule or our plan but only in the way and timing of God.

  • In the anguish of his spirit, Job asked, “Why have You made me Your target?” (Job 7:20) He lost all his children and his possessions. He acknowledges he is not sinless, even though he had a close relationship with God, but he can’t understand why it seems God is destroying him. Though Job didn’t get his children back and He would continue to feel the loss, God eventually gave him more children and more possessions than before. God restored his spirit and gave him grace to go on, and his faith became even deeper through this devastating trial.

  • The most remarkable question of all was by Jesus who took our place and suffered for our sins. In the deepest soul anguish ever, He cried out to His Father, “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46) He didn’t just “feel” like God forsook Him like we sometimes do. He really was forsaken. For us. Now even when it “feels” like God has abandoned us, we have the steadfast promise that He never will.

God gives us these stories and so many more to shine like beacons of hope that we are not alone. He will always be with us, even when it seems like He’s not.

Why God?

Before Austin sings this song, he shares how God showed him that it’s okay to ask Him the hard questions.

“Then Jesus said, ‘Come to Me,
all of you who are weary
and carry heavy burdens,
and I will give you rest.‘”
Matthew 11:28

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 34:18

Fighting From a Standpoint of Victory Already Won

victory-in-jesus

Satan knows exactly where our vulnerable spots are. He is a vindictive monster who wants to crush any hope we have. The closer we come to Jesus, the harder he tries to lure us away from Him.

Last week I read a Bible verse that often triggers bad memories. You may think – How could a Bible verse do that? How could God’s Word of love bring hurt?

It doesn’t. But some people abuse God’s Word by putting their own interpretation on it to justify hurting us. Like the minister who abused me did. When I come across this verse, my body and mind react. Fear grasps my heart in a vise-grip, and I want to run for my life. All the muscles in my body tense up, and the nausea rises up into my throat. A whirlwind of screaming and crying from a deep place in my heart press against my throat and eyes.

I shoved it all down and numbed myself to it, but the next day it came up again. I knew I had to address it and fight it with the truth.

I begged God to take away those memories and help me focus on His truth as He meant it to be. Not on the memories of how a man twisted its meaning to give a stamp of approval to his sinful lust.

God graciously reminded me:

To read His Word through His perspective, never man’s. His Word is meant to instruct us in the way of His love, salvation, and healing. It is NEVER meant to manipulate, to threaten, or to give an excuse to sinful actions.

To fight against the enemy and his deceitful tactics from a standpoint of victory already won by Him, not for a standpoint of victory. Fighting for victory or fighting from victory. Too often I wear myself out fighting for a victory of my own. I need to fight from the solid ground of God’s victory over Satan. The enemy can never get a foothold there.

That my heart is in His safe hands. He has access to every deep part of my brokenness, and He will continue to heal me layer by layer. Each time a painful memory is triggered, He makes me stronger in Him.

"For the enemy has pursued me,
  crushing me to the ground,
  making me live in darkness
  like those long dead.
  My spirit is weak within me;
  my heart is overcome with dismay.
  I remember the days of old;
  I meditate on all You have done;
  I reflect on the work of Your hands.
  I spread out my hands to You;
  I am like parched land before You."
  Psalm 143:4-6 HCSB

The enemy will pursue us and even crush us to the ground. Our hearts will faint within us and be overcome with anxiety and fear. But God…

I love those two words, don’t you? But God has already defeated the enemy. Yes, as long as we live, Satan is never going to give up, but God has given us a standpoint of victory we can fight from. A safe place where the devil has no access to.

“The Champion of Love”
by The Cathedrals

“He is higher than the highest
Greater than the great
No one will ever take His crown away
He is more mighty than the mightiest
He reigns from above
He’s the all-time, undisputed, undefeated
Champion of Love”