When We Want to Live Our Lives Less Like a List and More Like a Lyric

“I will praise You
because I have been remarkably
and wonderfully made.
Your works are wonderful,
and I know this very well.”
Psalm 139:14 HCSB

Freed to Fly

“I just want to live my life
less like a list and more like a lyric.”
Emily Freeman

“What might it mean to live life like a lyric rather than a list?

Maybe it means releasing yourself to live as the person you most deeply are rather than who you think you should be.

It could mean embracing your smallness by bringing your ordinary work to Jesus, knowing He does miracles with little offerings.

It could also mean releasing the outcome of your interactions with people and the results of your work.

Would your shoulders relax? Would your jaw loosen up? Would your fists open up in your lap?”

Excerpt from Seven Little Ways to Live Art by Emily Freeman.

“As you learn to recognize, nurture, and protect your inner artist, you will be able to move beyond pain and creative constriction. You will learn ways to recognize and resolve fear, remove emotional scar tissue, and strengthen your confidence.” Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way

The Garden
by Kari Jobe

“I had all
But given up
Desperate for it
A sign from love
Something good
Something kind
Bringing peace to every corner of my mind

Then I saw the garden
Hope had come to me
To sweep away the ashes
And wake me from my sleep

I realized
You never left
And for this moment
You planned ahead
That I would see
Your faithfulness in all of the green

I can see the ivy
Growing through the wall
‘Cause You will stop at nothing
To heal my broken soul

I can see the ivy
Reaching through the wall
‘Cause You will stop at nothing
To heal my broken soul…”

Creativity: Courage to Saddle Up In Spite of Self-Doubt and Fear

youarebeautiful

“The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”
― Sylvia Plath

Self-doubt can be such a roadblock to letting out the creative spirit God has placed in each of us. When we lack confidence, we put a stopper on the full potential we are meant for. I think of a rose bud ready to bloom. That bud was created in each of us, fully intended to bloom into unforeseen beauty. But we ignore that it’s even there or we cut it off because we reason it won’t amount to much anyway.

To be creative, we need to step out of the box, the traditional rules and regulations, and let our God-given imagination create new ideas and forms. But it’s so hard when we struggle with perfectionism.

Perfectionism sets high standards that can never be reached. And since we’re too afraid to fail or we’re afraid of rejection or criticism, we may easily give up or sometimes we don’t dare to even begin. We constantly self-evaluate and always come up short. Never good enough. We can try something but give up because we “can’t get it right.”

I’ll be honest. I’m struggling to be brave, to let this long-buried creativity inside of me come out. I am trying to reclaim that imagination I had as a little girl. I remember how I used to love creating things from terrariums to a frog habitat out of my mom’s old canning canister. But somewhere along life’s journey, hurts stifled this passion in me. What I loved got nipped in the bud.

A few months ago I heard about art journaling. I looked into it more, and it drew me in. But I was afraid to start. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like something deep inside me wants to break free and be brave and create with abandon no matter how it looks, but the perfectionist part of me keeps criticizing and telling me to give it up.

Then in one of (In)Courage’s abuse support groups, one of the leaders brought up art journaling and shared one of her pages. A meaningful and healing discussion developed, and I was nudged to go forward with it. I even got brave enough to share my first page with the group. And I learned that many found healing through expressing themselves whether in art journaling or other pursuits like quilting, cross-stitching, etc.

artjournal

When I shared my first page with the group, perfectionism said – Don’t do it. It’s not good enough. And voices of the past bombarded me with: That’s so vain. Pride is a sin. This is all self-serving.

It can be so wearisome to keep replacing past lies of self-debasement with Truth, but we can’t let those lies drag us down. I constantly have to remind myself to look at myself through God’s eyes – to believe that in Jesus I have priceless value. Enough for Him to even die for. The same is true for each of you.

So I experimented with some sponges and paints, photocopied and encircled my one-year-old picture, and pasted Truth clouds to remind me of who I am in Christ Jesus. 

There’s something about it that feels so freeing even though I wasn’t completely satisfied with the result. I’ll admit I have already torn out a page and started over, but I’m trying to learn not to. Art journaling is supposed to be about the process, not the product. It’s about self-expression and self-discovery, about letting that hidden creativity come out. About trusting we don’t have to be perfect. God accepts us just as we are, broken and imperfect.

Art Journal 2

Some days when Satan shoots his fiery darts of self-doubt and self-debasement at us, we have to keep reminding ourselves of God’s Truth. My second page was one of those days… I used markers, colored pencils, stickers and a cut-out butterfly. And as I tried to just let myself go with God’s promises, Satan had to flee, and I felt renewed.

I know I have a long way to go in this self-expressing and self-discovering journey. In order to heal more deeply, I also need to let go of and express the deep pains inside of me. But this is a start. Eventually I hope I will loosen up in spite of insecurity, perfectionism, and fear.

Courage is taking risks even if we’re afraid of the outcome. As John Wayne said, “Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.” It is in the saddling up anyway and allowing our hearts to take risks that we grow and learn the most about who God is and who He has created us to be.

Do you struggle with self-doubt?

Do you beat yourself up with the “not-good-enoughs?

Do you feel like the real you is trapped inside of you? Crying to get out?

Can you think of something you loved to do as a child?

How about a dream you gave up because you figured you could never be good enough?

Is there something you long to do but you’re too afraid you will fail?

Let’s saddle up anyway.

If we fall off, let’s dust ourselves off, and hop right back on.

“Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.”
– C. S. Lewis

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21 Days of Rest: Finding Spiritual Whitespace

Whitespace Writing Prompt:
“Take time to enjoy doing something creative or artistic.
Share what you did, how it felt and what you discovered.”