Last month an online friend, Lois, traveled through our city, and I had the privilege and pleasure of meeting her in person. When she gifted me with her book, Infertility: Finding God’s Peace in the Journey, I had no idea how much it would impact me.

It was truly a God-nudge that prompted her to give it to me as she didn’t know that God planted my children in my heart, not in my belly.

Lois wrote of her painful journey through infertility and the Biblical truths that helped her to find God’s peace in the midst of it. I would recommend this book to anyone going through infertility. But not only to those, but to all who are struggling with losses, whatever they may be. The Biblical truths God binds upon her heart are relevant to any trials and struggles we have in life.

I was captivated already from the beginning when I identified with what God spoke to her heart:

“Do you trust Me to know what
I’m doing with your life?
When you want to do it your own way,
when you start doubting My faithfulness,
when you start comparing yourself to others…
do you trust Me?” (p 11)

I’m sharing just a few of the Biblically-based truths and advice I gleaned that are invaluable to remember in every struggle or loss we may have:

♥ God cares about our feelings. He wants us to face them. He can handle any emotion we have. Even the writers of Scripture freely shared their feelings.

♥ A solid starting point in our journey is to see God as He is. He is in control of everything and His plan for our lives is good because He is good. When something bad happens in our lives, it doesn’t mean He is punishing us or doesn’t love us anymore.

♥ Praying Christ’s prayer “opens the door for the peace of God” and lays the groundwork that will enable us to make the right choices.

“Father, if You are willing,
take this cup from Me;
yet not My will,
but Yours be done.”
Luke 22:42

♥ Look for God-sightings, “those often-overlooked little events and moments that gently remind us that our heavenly Father still loves us and is still working.”

♥ Remember God has a different story for each of us. He knows what growth plan is best for us. (The comparison trap is easy to fall into.)

“And my primary job, as the main character in my story,
is to focus on Jesus, not on anyone else.”
~ Lois Flowers ~

♥ Express your anger to God above all and to someone you trust, so you don’t internalize it. Many people mean well by giving advice, opinions, or bits of spiritual wisdom, but others are simply insensitive and non-empathetic.

“But you can either turn yourself into a victim
who takes offense at every wrong word,
or you can allow your circumstances to
make you more assertive, more gracious,
or more patient with others.”
~ Lois Flowers ~

♥ Obsession with a dream or desire can lead to idolatry, placing our relationship with Christ on the back burner.

♥ Do what’s best for you and your emotional intelligence. It’s okay to stay away from places that trigger pain.

♥ It’s not all about us. Beware of self-absorption.

♥ God never turns His back on us.

“He didn’t turn His back on me when I was hurting,
but He didn’t let my tears change His mind
about what He had in store for me, either.
And somehow – only by His infinite
mercy and grace, I’m sure –
I was okay with that.”
~ Lois Flowers ~

♥ Letting go of a dream and grieving what we miss does not mean we have a lack of faith or are weak.

♥ Jesus always understands. He asked God three times for another way, but the answer was NO.

“We despised Him and rejected Him
—a man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief…
Yet it was our grief He bore,
our sorrows that weighed Him down.”
Isaiah 53: 3-4

Your Ways Are Higher Than Mine
by the Collingsworth Family

“It’s not what I prayed for
It’s not what I wanted
It’s not something I understand
My circumstances seem so confusing
I’m placing it all in Your hands

Your ways are higher than mine
I want mountains to move
You want me to climb
So I’m gonna trust Your work, Your will, and Your time
Your ways are higher than mine…”