Often my voice feels so timid as I write, still sometimes repressed from insecurity and past abuse. Whether writing blog posts, answering comments, or posting comments on other’s blogs, insecurity stabs against my intuition. Or shame attacks and backs me in a corner of dirty and damaged trash.
I sometimes struggle with whether I even have a right to speak of spiritual matters. Past religious training, actually spiritual abuse, drilled it into me that it’s the ministers and the elders that can interpret Scripture. Woe unto us if we doubted their interpretations. If a niggling of a doubt rose up in me, I felt I had sinned against God. I still get these promptings – “Who are you to interpret what God’s Word means?” This still influences me and I easily think my voice doesn’t matter, especially when it comes to writing about God and His promises. But God can personally give each of us light and understanding to interpret His Word. He is not bound by whether we are pastors or teachers in a visible church. His Spirit can fill any one of us with promises of hope, healing, and freedom to pass on to others.
Any kind of abuse has a huge impact on what we think of ourselves. Verbal abuse alone can cripple our thinking. My insecurity prompts me to question my writing even though I have prayed that God would give me the words. Even when I answer comments or write comments at other blogs, I too easily compare myself with others. I start thinking others have much more creative words, or they are much more eloquent than I am. But going down the comparison road is a slippery slope where we no longer see ourselves as a unique and beautiful masterpiece of God Himself with a unique voice to offer to others.
As I step by step learn to place my identity in Jesus, I am emboldened to share my God-given voice. Because in Him, our voices matter, every single thought, word, and feeling. Sometimes when insecurity, shame, and fear devastate my heart and render me speechless, when I’m writing a post, when I’m ready to delete a comment I make, or when I want to change an answer I give, I am stopped by God’s whisper:
Listen to your heart, My child.
Your voice matters.
You don’t have to be eloquent.
Just use the voice that I have given you.
The words in your heart matter.
I can set your repressed voice free.
I make even the weakest of voices strong in My love.
Listen to your heart, My child.
He whispers these words to you, too. Listen to your heart, my dear reader. Whether you write or speak little or much in this vast world of need, take heart in knowing your voice matters. Your words count, each and every one. And filled with Jesus and His love, each of them will find some home somewhere in this world.
“Art means believing that the God
who created the world with words alone
creates with words still, through us
— whether it be on a stage to thousands
or in a corner with one.”
~ Emily Freeman in A Million Little Ways
Each of you is a masterpiece in God’s eyes, and He can give you words to write or say, no matter how weak and intimidated you feel. One word spoken in the name of Jesus in the darkest little corner of this world can build like a snowball rolling down a mountain and make a positive difference you’ll never know on this side of eternity.
So, my dear friend, open your heart and allow God to speak through you. Stomp on the devil who tries to stop you, and fling out your voice to all around you. Just let the real you speak out those words that are stuffed down in your heart because of past influences. Your voice and your story matter!
“Glorious Unfolding” by Steven Curtis Chapman
Linking up with:
Holley – Coffee For Your Heart
Jennifer – Tell His Story
Kelly – Cheerleaders of Faith
Bonnie – Faith Barista’s Beloved Brews