“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me!” As kids, we often chanted this whenever someone called us a name. Is it true? No way!
Negative words can cut us deeply and can stick in our hearts and minds like stuck records throughout our lives. They can hide in a corner of our minds and affect us in ways we don’t even realize. They can empty us of our security in who we really are. We start basing our value on what others say instead of who God says we are.
“You’re not good enough… You’re dumb… You’re worthless…” Words that make us feel like we’ll never amount to much. Words that strip us of our self-worth and prevent us from fulfilling our God-given potential. Constant drips that wear away our courage to do things we really CAN do.
In a blog post I read last week – What To Do When Criticism Cuts Deep – Michele Cushatt points us to some valuable truths that have helped her. I’ll share three of them here:
“Because I no longer delegate
the power to determine my value.”
“Who I am is rooted in who Jesus says I am.
And the hard work He’s already done,
without any effort on my part
to earn it or deserve it.”
“I am loved,
without condition or prerequisite.
God sees me as I am,
and loves me anyway.
It’s that simple.”
I’m so sorry if you have been hurt by words. It can be tough to shut off that persistent negative voice, can’t it? Here is God’s Truth to replace negative criticism that taunts us.
“In His Eyes”
by 1 Girl Nation
Let them say you are
Cause you’re the vision
Of the Father’s heart
In the Father’s heart
You are priceless in His eyes”
May we open our hearts
for God to pour in His Truth!
And may that Truth overflow
into all our words and
actions towards others!
Freed to Fly 
Yes, they can stick like a sticker on our back that we don’t realize is there but dictating how we think of ourselves. Your post is timely Trudy. I wrote a post for another place about a restless night of negative thoughts. The following day I picked up a book that my girlfriend left me months ago–Shameless. And from the first page saw myself in the author’s stories of how shame affected his life. And his shame came also from many words that were spoken to him. Embarrassment also leads to shame. Yes, we have to be careful of the words we say, and also be careful what we let in. And keep going back to God’s truth for the balm that heals it all.
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I love how you put it that God’s truth is the balm that heals it all, Lynn. It truly is. I’m sorry those negative thoughts robbed you of sleep. May I know where that post is? It’s so hard to rid ourselves of shame, isn’t it? May our Shame-Breaker break the chain of shame for all of us!
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It was for this post Trudy, and wrote quite quickly. I see where it could use some tweaking. 🙂 Our prompt was what God is speaking to us about our writing or how God speaks to others through our writing.
https://inscribewritersonline.blogspot.com/2019/06/my-writing-process-to-peace-by-lynn-j.html . Yes, let’s break the shame-chain so we can live out fully God’s grace.
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Thank you for sharing that post, Lynn! I needed that. I struggle a lot with those ANTS. I especially love what you wrote your friend – “God’s word dooms them to death with the truth. And eventually will get complete victory over the ‘queen’ causing all the havoc.” Love that! I am comforted by Psalm 94:19 as the cares of my heart are many. My youngest brother is lying in ICU with severe pancreatitis, probably started from a gall stone getting stuck. My sister-in-law keeps us updated, and today’s report is worse than yesterday. His kidneys are functioning again, but there are other things going wrong and he’s in such pain. I’m so worried about him. I saw him yesterday, but he is so, so sick. But God keeps reminding me He’s got him. I just felt nudged to share with you as I know you lost a dear brother and would understand the pain. Will you please take a moment to pray for him? For his wife and kids, too? So that verse is so timely. Thank you!
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Yes, people will cut us down with negative words, but when we remember who we are in God’s eyes, we can stand tall and proud in His love and grace. Wonderful inspiration, Trudy! Blessings!
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Thank you, Martha. Blessings to you, too! May we “remember who we are in God’s eyes and stand tall and proud in His love and grace!”
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Trudy, yes, those words can shape our understanding of ourselves when we think on them and listen to the recording in our minds. It’s taken me decades to move beyond some of the cruel things said to me in my early years. I loved what you shared from Michelle Cushatt’s blog. Those thoughts are spot-on. It’s only as I have come to understand that my identity is found in who Jesus says I am, that I am valued and enough because of Jesus, and that He loves me passionately, perfectly, and completely that I have found a way to erase those recordings in my mind and believe the truth about who God says I am.
Great truths here, sweet friend. I’m sending you love and hugs today.
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Thank you Jeanne. Love and hugs to you, too! Yes, those cruel things surely can be recordings in our minds playing over and over again. I’m so glad God has brought you this far to understand your identity is found in who Jesus says you are! May we always remember we are valued and enough because of Him! May His unfathomable love erase those recordings completely in our lives and may it be a shield from the devil who knows our vulnerabilities so well! God will always be BIGGER!
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Thank you Trudy for confirming what the Lord has been speaking to me lately also. I belong to Him, and He says, “Listen to Me! You are MINE.” Everything else falls away when we can focus our hearing into His voice. Blessings and love to you, Dear Friend! xoxo
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I love when God so graciously confirms what He’s been speaking to us, don’t you? Yes, we belong to Him, Bettie. Blessings and love to you, too! May we continually tune into His Voice! I’ve been watching the dates. Isn’t it June 10 that you see that new doctor? I hope and pray it goes well and you will be listened to, believed, and supported and that there can be some treatment that will help you! Are you having anxiety in the waiting? God be with you and give you peace!
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Yes, Trudy, I have been having some anxiety thru all of these difficult Dr appointments. June 12 is the new Rheumatologist. Thank you so much for all of your prayers! I saw your comments to Lynn, and I am so sorry about your brother! I will be praying for him, as I pray for my sis-in-law who just began chemo for breast cancer. So many prayers to lift up to Him!
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I’m so sorry, Bettie, for your anxiety and for your sister-in-law. Yes, so many prayers to lift up to Him! Thank you for praying for my brother. I will remember your sis-in-law in prayer and also keep praying for you. 🙏🏼❤️
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Thanks for this encouragement, Trudy! Words can definitely hurt but the truth of what God says about us is amazing! I love the quotes from the blog post – the one about not delegating the power to determine our value to others particularly strikes me. It is so important to let God’s words about us be the ones that count. I love the song too – I haven’t heard this one before so I appreciate you sharing it. Love and hugs to you!
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I’m so glad you’re encouraged, Lesley. That one about not delegating the power to determine our value to others struck me, too. It made me realize that I still do that too often.That song has a comforting message, doesn’t it? Love and hugs to you, too! May we remember always to let God’s words be the ones that count!
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Oh this is timely for me, Trudy! Because of the negative words spoken over me in childhood, which still haunt me today, I am apt to snap and say the wrong thing to others when I feel weary and hard pressed. This morning it came out as a critical response to my husband. It bothered both of us and drained the day of any joy… for a while.
But once I had apologised, rested and prayed, feeling contrite and sad, God turned the bad effect of those words into some positive thoughts I could use in a blog post. He really does redeem the past and creates beauty out of our ashes! Your resource-rich, encouraging and helpful post has also been instrumental in shifting my thinking out of the funk it was in. Thank you!
And as I read your response to Lynn it brought me up short. Because apart from Scripture, there’s nothing quite like the heavy load others are carrying to make us see our own burdens in a different way. I’m so sorry to hear of your younger brother’s serious illness, and I will be praying for him and you and the rest of the family at this challenging time. May God give you His rest and peace. Blessings, love and hugs. xoxo
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I understand that haunting of those negative words as a child, Joy. Thank you for your honesty. I’m sorry for your struggles. “He really does redeem the past and creates beauty out of our ashes!” Amen! I’m so glad you were encouraged. Thank you so much for praying for my brother and the rest of the family. He is so sick and in such pain. His wife is a gem and so good for him. And thank you for praying for me as well for rest and peace. I do need that. I get so much anxiety about him and about other emotional pain going on in our family, but through a couple of butterflies yesterday, God reminded me He’s with me always and He’s got my brother and He has the power to heal physical and emotional pain. So I’m trying to trust and rest in God’s power! Blessings, love, and hugs to you, too. May God fill our hearts with His truth of who we are and help us to not delegate power to others in the past or in the present to determine our value!
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I know you do, Trudy. If only we could forget them! May the words God speaks to us and over us become central in our thoughts, and may the negativity be replaced by His affirmation and grace. It’s such a blessing to know God hears our prayers and holds our loved ones close. We might feel helpless but we are never hopeless. Healing is always possible in the worst of situations. Oh how our hearts get wrung when we witness our loved ones suffering! Yet God cares infinitely for them and for us, and He is able to affect change for the better. May the circle of prayer be like holy arms surrounding and comforting you and your loved ones. You are not alone. xo 💜🙏💟
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Thank you so much for your comforting reassurance, Joy. ❤️
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