“The scab came off, leaving the wound wide open.” I heard something like this on a TV program in reference to opening the wound of an abusive past. In context, it was considered a bad thing to open and talk about the wound of abuse.
So often I hear it is better not to open up those past hurts. Just leave them in the past, some say. Don’t talk about it, or you get yourself all riled up again. Forgive and forget. Bury the past and move on.
It’s never that easy. When it comes to emotions, healing is a process. If pain oozes when a scar is scratched open, then we aren’t really healed in the first place. If a wound is opened, especially if it’s festering underneath that scab, it needs to be opened to the air in order for the infection to seep out and the wound to heal.
If we don’t let these past painful emotions out, they will seep out subconsciously into our actions and attitudes. In a negative way that will hurt us and others around us, especially our loved ones.
I’m not talking here about those triggered memories that open up around certain people and places. We do need to set boundaries to protect ourselves from being hurt again.
I’m not talking either about opening up these hurts to people who don’t understand and don’t offer a safe place for us to open up. That can only lead to further hurt and may even shut us down further.
I’m talking about dealing with a past issue of abuse itself. It is never good to let it brew inside of us. It will continue to fester in unintended ways if we don’t expose it to the air.
Many years ago, I was under the impression in the church I grew up in that going to a counselor is sinful. That we shouldn’t seek for help in man, only in God. But then I realized that just as doctors are means provided for us to help us with our physical ailments, trained and safe counselors can be used to bless us in dealing with emotional issues. The emotions God created us with are just as important as our physical bodies. We’d be an empty shell without them.
So I finally went to a counselor. The first one I went to helped me to a certain extent, but I felt like I wasn’t going any further. I went to a second one, a Christian one, but she would have me read certain books that I wasn’t ready to read and I didn’t feel that books that were graphically detailed helped me at all, and besides that, sometimes her “Christianese” reminded me of the pastor and church who abused me. It didn’t feel safe. Finally, by the grace of God, I found another Christian counselor who God especially used to help me. She continually validated me and helped me to work through emotions and gain freedom from my abuser while at the same time pointing me to my true identity in Christ.
In Christ Jesus. He is who we need most of all. We need to let our past pain break wide open to Jesus so He can apply His healing balm to our troubled souls. Layer by layer, no matter how hard it is, we need to scratch those scabs off and expose them to the healing air of Jesus’ compassion, love, and grace.
His compassion knows no bounds. Maybe you’ve never been believed or validated. Jesus will believe you with all His being. I care so much, I hear you, I believe you. I am so sorry you are hurting, My child.
“Who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion.”
~ Psalm 103:4
His love reaches the deepest depths of our misery. Maybe you feel unloved or all mixed up about what love really is because of what you were wrongly told it meant. Jesus will teach you that love isn’t supposed to hurt. Love sacrifices for your well-being, not your harm. I love you, My child, so much I died for you.
“No one has greater love [no one has shown stronger affection] than to lay down (give up) his own life for his friends.”
~ John 15:13 AMP
His grace is unending. Maybe you have been misunderstood, judged, and wrongly condemned. Maybe friends or family are mad at you or have deserted you because you told the truth. Jesus knows that and He will offer to you nothing but kindness and no condemnation. My child, in your desperation, you can find help and deliverance in Me, because I care about you so very much and desire to show you My favor.
“But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!”
~ 2 Corinthians 12:9
“You’re My Little Girl” by Go Fish
(Men, just imagine you’re His little boy.)
Jesus longs for us
to rip open our deepest
wounds to Him!
Linking up with:
Holley – Coffee For Your Heart
Jennifer – Tell His Story
Kelly – Cheerleaders of Faith
Bonnie – Faith Barista’s Beloved Brews