Do you ever feel stuck between a myriad of opinions? So many that your own voice is smothered? Or maybe you finally get more brave and you venture out with your voice, but it is rejected, criticized, or ignored. And you wonder – Doesn’t my voice count at all?
Coming from a religious background where ministers were put on a pedestal as the voice of God Himself, it felt like our thoughts didn’t count. Their interpretations of Scripture became law. So if I felt a verse meant differently than what we were taught, I scolded myself and tried to smother it. I didn’t want God to rain down fire and brimstone on me. I had no voice at all. I felt like a puppet, only moving where or when someone wanted it to.
God has released me from that mindset, but it has been a long process, and I’m still a work-in-progress. God is showing me more and more how much love He has for us, not condemnation, and how His Spirit can shed light in each of our hearts. How He has given each of us a unique voice.
There are times legalism still digs its talons into my scars and scrapes them open again, but Jesus shows again and again that in Him is freedom, not chokeholds on who we are. He wants us to be who He created us to be, not who others want us to be.
My insecurities still sometimes rear up their ugly heads and distort my thinking. And I falter. Surely that person is more knowledgable than I am, so maybe their opinion is right, and mine is wrong.
To be honest, I am often afraid when I post, reply to comments here, or comment on other blogs. Doubts and fears rattle my heart. What if I write the wrong thing? Once it’s out there, I can’t take it back. What if I don’t glorify God in these words? What if what I say or don’t say hurts instead of helps? I never, ever want to add to the weight of a hurting soul.
Then God whispers, “Follow your heart, My child.”
But God, what if I don’t trust my heart? What if my heart is in the wrong place?
Step by step, God is leading me to trust Him and His provision more. He confirms to me that if He is my treasure, my heart will be there, too, attune to the rhythm of His own. He wants me to place my heart into His, to rest in His all-sufficient grace, and to allow His love and grace to flow through me. Freely and without restriction.
“For where your treasure is,
there your heart will be also.”
“May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to You,
O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”
However, on this earth, we remain imperfect and broken, don’t we? We may sometimes slip or go astray from following God’s heart. But He will never condemn us. He understands how sorry we feel and how much we desire to follow His heart. No matter how badly we mess up, He wholeheartedly forgives us.
He values each of us. He loves us just as we are, unconditionally. He has given each of us a unique voice, and each of our voices is special to Him. He wants us to follow our hearts, our intuitions, what we truly believe is right.
Through Your Eyes
by Britt Nicole